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30 May 2013

26 days left

Clocks are ticking, more pages are being removed from my calendar... The future is getting nearer everyday.

Lots of days have passed in my short life as a mortal on earth; happy days, sad days, good days, unfortunate ones... Lots of memories that are fading in my memory and others that can never be forgotten. People come and go, some stay for a long time, others just pass by, some are forgotten, others are deeply preserved in my mind, others are in my heart, and they always leave a mark, either a positive or a negative one. I change along the path, and it's impossible for me to remain the same person all along. The only one who never changes is God, He's my only company that never leaves or changes at any stage.

I looked at the calender, counted the days before that day... A day that will be sad, and will never be erased from my heart, with people who stayed for long and left a deep mark in me, a positive one... But what's the difference? This ain't the first time I ever have a day like that, and leave a place where I shared memories with people I love, also I lost many loved ones already; so why am I that sad this time??

Sadness really made me not welling to work, afraid of the future, afraid of losing them again.. I have to overcome this feeling and do my best, but it's not as simple to be done as to be said. Being down and having negative feelings are annoying and stop one's progress and will to live... "Future is gonna be tough" is the only thought I have in my mind now.

Tough, not only for leaving this stage and leaving colleagues and friends I love, but also for many things; my career choice, my family, my parents, my marriage, my education, my dreams... Lots of troubles seem far away, yet, very close.. As if you know you are falling into a trap, but there is no way you can avoid it. Even if I believed that life is a game, I sometimes take games seriously...

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